I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
