peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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