At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Randomize
