i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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