Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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