I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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