Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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