Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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