I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
