Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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