is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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