i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
