is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
