yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
