I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
