you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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