I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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