I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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