oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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