Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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