we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She's just so happy...and so naked.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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