Kiss
Puke
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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