the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
