girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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