I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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