"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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