We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
