Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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