Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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