508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Everything about him screamed your future.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
