very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
