she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
