Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We have started to decorate penises.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
