Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
