Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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