...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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