haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
