life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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