Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
