so explain again why im purple
no
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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