I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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