You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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