I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
