Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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