***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
