nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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