Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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