My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
