you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
