Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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